Up Early, Not Writing

The cat’s sitting behind my chair making some of the most obscene sounds as she licks her hind end.  That must mean it is time for me to write something.  It’s bra-less Sunday, which now starts on Saturday since weekends are for social distancing.  To be honest, I never went out on weekends much. It was too peoply out there before the quarantine and virus fright.  Now it is way too peoply out there with folks who stayed in all week or worked wanting to escape their homes.   It sounds counter-intuitive to me, too.

Since I’ve cleaned the cat’s bathroom (yes, they have their own) and had breakfast including a small container of the best ice cream known to man and it’s only 10 a.m., I figure writing is next on the list. I know, I know. If I was a real writer, I’d have started the day writing.  I used to.  I used to come directly in here to my desk after feeding the cats their breakfast and I would start out with a thought or continue a thought from the day before.  I would get lost in the endless tapping of the keys on the keyboard and in the words and I would suddenly look up and it would be after noon.  Half a day gone in the blink of an eye.

I have not felt like writing lately.  Do I need a topic?  Do I need a deadline? Do I need a simple prompt?  Nah. I’m just being lazy.  I’ve been waiting for things to go back to normal and they simply are not.

Again, to be honest my normal is pretty much like this quarantine thing except for the addition of the mask and latex gloves.  I still go out very early in the morning to enjoy the sunrise and take a walk in the woods before pairs of soccer mom’s come out to power walk and scare away all the nature.  The park where the mom’s usually go got closed with large concrete barriers because of a lack of social distancing.  I was not surprised.  They now jog together in the street – still without masks.  Apparently, we are getting different information and instruction.  To walk now, I have to drive an hour away, but once there it feels worth it – the peacefulness.  I can go without my mask there in the woods.

I go out very early to grocery shop during the time set aside for senior citizens even though I am not one.  Not yet.  I feel like one sometimes.

So, the weekend at home is not new to me.  It just keeps me safer now more than ever.   I lost the writing habit somewhere during the initial news and changes.  I have not been reading either.  It has been hard to focus on things for long periods of time.  I think that is one of the keys to getting back to writing: reading.   Reading always bathes me in words that I never want to wipe away.  I want them to cling to me like the soft scent of my bath soap and hover around me as I move, tickling my nose and thoughts with ideas.

I have not been doing nothing.  Oh no, I’ve completed several thousand-piece puzzles and several smaller ones.  I have more arriving at the post office tomorrow.   I’ve re-watched many of my favorite movies – The Help, Hidden Figures, Leap Year, Decoy Bride, Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made, Mrs, Miniver.  I have eclectic interests, wouldn’t you agree?  I’ve watched all twelve seasons of Bones (don’t be too impressed, two of their seasons were not full seasons); all five seasons of Warehouse 13, the first season of Hot in Cleveland (more to follow).

I discovered Locke & Key on Netflix!  Wow, loved that.  I want a set of those keys.  Yes, I am twelve (mentally not physically).  I loved the fantasy of it.  And it didn’t scare me too much.  Except for that one scene where the girl was going down the stairs and the shadowy creepy creatures were hiding under the stairs and reached through and grabbed her ankle.  Right out of my fucking nightmares, thank you Mr. Hill!   I am going to have a look at the graphic novels but I suspect in this case the show is for me and a second season could not come too soon.  Come to think of it though, I’ve been waiting two years, Netflix, for the return of an equally quirky show;  The Umbrella Academy.   What is taking so long?  I follow those actors on Instagram – I know the filming started ages ago.

We’ve been waiting for a lot lately.  Is that what we are doing now – waiting?

I’ve always been a waiter.  I’ve put off a lot of things by waiting for something else that was going on.  It’s a mistake, I know.  Look how old I am now and feeling as though I do not have a lot of time left.  Waiting at this point is foolish.  I’ve waited myself into a world where I may not be able to travel to Ireland or England again let alone across the country.  I better stop waiting to write.  No matter what it is I just need to get at it.

Now that the cat has completed her sound effects, I will get on one of those dozen or so projects that I have started.   Those projects that have survived multiple computer crashes must be there waiting on me for a reason.

 

#bralesssunday  #writing #waiting #writerslife